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Online dating is a good idea

Any site that you use, you must vet anyone that you meet. Talk on the phone enough times to gather google-friendly facts about them and then check them out to make certain that they are telling the truth before you give out your last name. Do not allow them to friend you on facebook or know where you live until after the third date.

Always meet in public places and don't meet anyone who won't give you his full name. Also, I'd like to Nth what deathpanels said. The experience on the free sites varies greatly by gender. Buried in there will probably be some thoughtful well-written messages from some nice people. But the hard part is to not get discouraged by the sea of shit that you'll need to wade through to find them. If you're attractive, multiply what I just said by a factor of at least three.

It's hard and it sucks. I got out of the dating game before apps like Tinder got really big, but I understand that they're really popular. If you're in an urban setting, I would give them some consideration too. A caveat about online dating that I think hasn't been quite addressed: It's really, really easy to click with someone online and build up in your head this sort of idealized image of who they are.

The longer the connection remains solely online, the more entrenched that idea becomes. And thus, the disappointment when you finally meet. I think, given your question history here, it might be a good idea to take a long and difficult look at whether it's likely to be long-term effective at this stage in your life for you to try to meet people who are invested in projecting an idealized version of themselves in order to attract people.

It seems to me that your goals as expressed by you might be served better by meeting people in person--probably most effectively by explicitly asking your friends if they know any nice, single guys you might be compatible with. This is not to say that online dating is bad! Just saying that it seems like perhaps it may not be right for you at this time.

You Won’t Know If You Like Online Dating Unless You Try It

I'm a straight cis woman using OKCupid. I used it a few years ago and met four people at that time. Became friends with two and dated the other two. Still good friends with one and ok-friends with the other, but after the dating relationships ended we didn't stay friends. Got back on again and am having good conversations with three people. Two out of three may be romantic matches; one isn't looking for the same thing I am but feels like a friend. I'm using it to find friends anywhere with the potential for more and am open to moving. I'm way older than you and I still get more generic "hey baby" type messages than messages from people I want to respond to.

5 Reasons Why I'm So Glad I Tried Online Dating

My best strategy has been to message people first and I recommend that to you even more as a younger woman, since you will probably be absolutely deluged in generic messages to sort through. Plus, men hardly ever get messaged first and unless they are uber-traditionalists, they love it. I probably won't use any other sites concurrently, since I want to focus on the small amount of friendly people I've met right now and see where things go. I met my SO on okcupid. One thing I love about okc is that reading peoples answers gave me an immediate idea of whether they were racist, homophobic, classist, really great for weeding out bigots.

Our core beliefs and values match up and it makes for a really healthy relationship. I was on there for 2 years before I met him and I found it a real struggle. I am in NYC so I feel like that's important to note. Dating here is a struggle in general. I ended up with a string of one night stands because men weren't straight with me. A LOT of creeps will message you as others said but ignore them.

Go with your gut. That being said, the 2 years was totally worth it. I absolutely love my boyfriend to death. We've been together for almost 2 years. We live together and we're saving for a house. I hope you have fun! I met my partner on OkCupid a while back, but my sense is that younger folks might have moved on to more app-based things. My best advice is to talk to your friends who are doing online dating, especially those who've had a successful relationship though online dating, and use whatever sites they use. If you don't want a hookup, be extremely clear about that. I think on many services you'll get skeevy messages that you need to weed out no matter what, but just don't meet those people.

Remember that you can't be catfished if you don't invest in someone without meeting them.

I would say a maximum of messages before you suggest meeting in person. If they're cagey, just move on. I'm getting married this summer to a man who I met on OkCupid. I think how much you like Internet Dating depends a lot on you personally.


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First, do you like dating? Or do you simply want a relationship? I like hearing people's stories and drinking beer and eating food and walking around talking. I'm slightly cynical so I don't place too much emotional expectation on a couple of good dates and I'm busy and happy being single.

A Weird Tip for Online Dating That Works! - Mat Boggs

I think if you can view Internet dating from this standpoint it's fun and great. Something I did find a bit jarring though is that you will often like a person personality wise and know you're fairly compatible, and if you don't find them physically attractive in person it's a bit more disappointing than traditional dating where you find a person attractive and then you learn you're not compatible.

That said, I've had a lot of friends who hated Internet dating, couldn't handle the disappointment of not feeling a connection with people, didn't like the meat market feeling of it, and were feeling constantly worn on by their "failure" at not finding their soul mates. It won't hurt you to give it a shot. Don't feel like you need to answer every message, if you're a conventionally attractive straight female you will be bombarded with messages, and trying to be nice and polite with everyone wore me down.

Send opening messages yourself to people you think you'd be interested in, and only answer messages from people who put a little thought into them.

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Are Dating Sites a Good Idea? 7 Reasons Why They Are

Totally ignore anything gross. I've been married for four years and was dating her for two years before that, so I've been out of the dating scene for a long time, and so stories of my experiences may be heh dated information. I met three out of my six ex-girlfriends, as well as my wife, on LiveJournal, which is decidedly NOT an online dating site, and has kind of died in the last few years. I wasn't expecting to find love by blogging, but it just happened that way, more often than not.

I guess reading each others' deep personal thoughts is conducive to that sort of thing. As for the remaining three ex-girlfriends -- one was a friend of a friend in college who I met in person first, one I met through Nerve Personals, and the other I met through OKCupid. In my experience, eHarmony and match generally led to better dates with more compatible women than the free sites -- even though a relationship never blossomed out of any of them. I found that having to pay for a site tended to separate the wheat from the chaff, in that people paying for these sites seemed to be more serious about finding someone online.

I went on a lot of nice first dates, and even a few second and third dates, with people I met on eHarmony and match, but nothing went any further than that. I also met a real flaker on eHarmony -- our first date was to go see the Wallace and Gromit movie and then she always came up with excuses not to talk to me dude, just say you're not interested, and I'll move on. PlentyOfFish -- Hated it. Especially hated the fact that they sent me an e-mail every week which contained my username and full password in clear text.

OKCupid - As an experiment, I ran two profiles, having heard about women getting creepy stalkers through online dating sites.

Six reasons you should consider online dating

One was a real profile as man seeking woman. The other was a fake profile as woman seeking woman, with no photo posted, which stated unambiguously that I was not actually a woman. The amount of dick pictures and the kinds of responses I received made it clear to me that most men don't read a profile at all beyond the word "female.

Expect that kind of crap as a woman. However, I met an ex-girlfriend of mine through that woman-seeking-woman profile and we were together for almost a year, so that was kind of unexpected. As for the man-seeking-woman profile, I got a LOT of flake-outs who were either generally uninterested in me, or generally uninterested in finding someone online.

Nerve Personals - I don't know if this site is around anymore I stopped using it in , but I met an ex-girlfriend on here, and we were together for two and a half years, and I also met a very good, close friend of mine we never dated, even though that's what we were both looking for out of the site, but we became good friends and still are. Yahoo Personals - Again, I don't know if this site is around anymore. True to its name, I met many Yahoos on the site.

The exception was one close friend I am not so close with anymore but still talk to. As for being catfished and what have you, there is no reward without risk. I've gone on great, not-so-great and kind of terrible dates from OkCupid and Tinder.